I know what you all are thinking by the title…no, I’m not crazy nor have I gone mad. I needed a catchy title plus it is kind of the topic I want to talk about…just maybe not in those words.
I’ve had many people in the last 6 months tell me that I need to see a psychiatrist. Especially after everything my ex did and continued to put me through mentally. I used to see a psychiatrist for a while after my best friend died in a car accident back in 2009. It helped, but I began to realize as I got older that I can be my own doctor by overpowering my inner demons. It was so hard and still is at times. I still fall prey to dark thoughts just like any other person battling with the same issue. I also know that not everyone has the capability to fight their inner demons like I have been. As long as they have some sort of outlet to channel those inner feelings towards that doesn’t harm anyone, I think they will learn to cope just fine.
What I will say is that, no I don’t need to see a doctor again. Instead, I found my “outlet” to channel all those dark feelings towards, and that is writing. I don’t know what it is about writing, but whenever I sit down to write my books or write a blog, I can feel all those bad feelings leaving my body. I am able to control myself at that point and feel so much better. Happier. Writing is more than art. It is a sense of psychiatry in its own version I believe. I think it has something to do with the way the mind works when you write down all your feelings and read them back to yourself. Whatever it is, it’s a wonderful thing. This is another reason why I enjoy keeping up on my blogs every few days. By doing so, it helps keep my mind “sane” and by clearing my head like that I’m also able to focus more on my books, my job, my home life, people in passing, LIFE IN GENERAL. After all the mind is mysterious to mankind and we will never be able to understand it.
Do I believe I may have some issues in my head? To some extent yes, but I’ve learned to cope with them in a non-harmful way by finding my outlet. Having my outlet to go to and create something worth while from it has me feeling normal…but what exactly is normal in our society? I like to think of myself as “unique”. In my own little way, of course.
This thought crossed my mind today when I was working and I thought it would make for a perfect topic for my blog today. After all, I did eventually want to address this topic, so why not a better day than today?
Because writing has become my outlet, I almost feel like a whole new person. The feelings, emotions, the mentality all kept at bay while I look at myself everyday in the mirror and think “wow, who is that anymore? I’m all grown up and have learned to find healthy ways of coping by also pursuing my dreams at the same time”. Who knew that my dream career path would turn out to be my healthy outlet? Life does work in funny ways.
Some of this is hard to explain, and I’m sure in the future I will revisit this topic again once I’ve found more of the right words to explain it. I actually just figured all this out so it is still new to me having this good outlet, and good feeling about myself. Life is good. My life is good, and I’ve never been happier than I am right now. I’ve never felt as good as I do now sitting here writing this blog. It is safe to say that writing is my sanctuary. Always will be. I will never stop writing. Even if it is just for myself.
Writing is my form of healing from within. Writing is my Psychiatrist.