~What I’ve been up to….~

Good morning, all! 

I know this is usually when I would post another part to the horror story that I created, but I think today is a good day for a “What I’ve been up to” blog. Also, I need a little more time to figure out the turn I want the story to make, so no worries, the next part will be posted in a few days time. 

It may seem I have fallen off the face of the blog world lately because I haven’t posted anything like I usually do, but truth be told, I’ve been so busy trying to find time for everything that has been happening. After the publication of “Saving Her: Minnie’s Lust”, things started to get crazy. Good crazy though! With my writing career starting to take off, there’s so much that needs to be done along with finding the time to start my next projects, which I have but I haven’t done much with them yet so I’m kind of upset about that. What do you do? Gotta role with the punches and do one thing at a time, right? 

Anyway, on top of that, Lyft has been picking up business a lot more lately as we roll into spring, so everything seems to be jumbled right now. I’m not aggravated, I love that everything seems to be working out! Sometimes, the crazy gets exhausting and I usually write a little after work each night, but lately, I’ve been passing out on the couch. 

Doesn’t help that a few days ago I got sick with the flu virus that has been going around. Yeah, I could’ve used those days home from work to write, but a symptom of the flu virus is a major migraine and dizziness. All I wanted to do was sleep. Every time I tried to get up to write, my head would split open and everything would spin causing the nausea feeling and then my fever would kick in. There was no way I was going to be able to write those days. I’m finding the time to write, it’s just not enough time I want. I want ALL the time! But, until my career takes off all the way, I’m going to have to cherish the time I make which I do. 

I’m happy that winter is starting to come to a close, though. I feel the other day was such a tease because it was 60 degrees and sunny; a perfect spring day. Then, yesterday was back down to 40 degrees and foggy and crappy. Today is the first day of March so hopefully we start seeing that beautiful weather again! 

Also, now that spring is starting to roll in, that also means it’s almost time for my spring blogs! I’ll probably post a spring blog once a week about my gardening or whatever I’m doing outside. The short stories will still be happening; I’m hoping to start getting back into my routine of posting a blog every few days again. Also, the lake is melting! Although, I won’t be going fishing until mid-April at the earliest because usually right after the lake melts, it needs time to warm up for the fishes to swim closer to the surface. On top of that, they will be feasting on all the dead fishes and bacteria from the melting. So, usually my fishing season doesn’t start until mid-April early May. I would like to post blogs about my fishing adventures as well when it all starts. 

As far as my books go, I started my next 2 projects. Haven’t had much time to get far with them, but I started them. Project 1 which is the main project is the sequel to Book 1 of my “Saving Her” series. It is Book 2: “Saving Her: Minnie’s Love”. “Minnie’s Lust”-book 1: takes place in Ryle’s past. He is remembering the events that happened to lead up to book 2. Book 2-“Minnie’s Love”: takes place in the present. It is going to be a little longer book than the first one because there’s so much more that happens and so much more detail that needs to be put into that book since it’s based in the present day. When that one is finished, I will be working on book 3 which is the last book to the series. Book 3 is going to be “Minnie’s Story”-As the title says. It’s everything that happened in Minnie’s eyes; her feelings, her past, her story. On the side though, I have another project that I will be working on if when I have writer’s block with my series and it is called “It’s Not Fair”. It’s going to be an emotional tragedy type of book. Still a romance, but more on the side of emotional tragedy. The main character is a high school student. She comes from a broken home and tries to rebel against everything. Then she finds out she has cancer to deal with. It is going to be a very good read!! So, yeah, I’ve got my hands full right now. I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way. I like that all of this keeps me busy every day. It keeps my mind focused and I enjoy that. 

I know this blog is a little shorter, but this is just an update on my crazy life and what I’ve been doing. My next blog will come tomorrow morning and that will be Part 6 to the mystery/horror story. I usually just sit down with this story and write whatever comes to mind. Like, I always have some sort of idea of how I want it to go, but the details leading up to it just flow out. My way of clearing my head. 

Anyway, I’m going to leave this blog here for now. Be sure to look for the next part that will be posted in the AM if you have been following along with the story. If your new to the story, there’s links to the other parts. Hope you all enjoy the day wherever you are. I hope it’s all nice weather for you! Happy Thursday!!

 

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~Is Writing My Psychiatrist?~

I know what you all are thinking by the title…no, I’m not crazy nor have I gone mad. I needed a catchy title plus it is kind of the topic I want to talk about…just maybe not in those words. 

I’ve had many people in the last 6 months tell me that I need to see a psychiatrist. Especially after everything my ex did and continued to put me through mentally. I used to see a psychiatrist for a while after my best friend died in a car accident back in 2009. It helped, but I began to realize as I got older that I can be my own doctor by overpowering my inner demons. It was so hard and still is at times. I still fall prey to dark thoughts just like any other person battling with the same issue. I also know that not everyone has the capability to fight their inner demons like I have been. As long as they have some sort of outlet to channel those inner feelings towards that doesn’t harm anyone, I think they will learn to cope just fine. 

What I will say is that, no I don’t need to see a doctor again. Instead, I found my “outlet” to channel all those dark feelings towards, and that is writing. I don’t know what it is about writing, but whenever I sit down to write my books or write a blog, I can feel all those bad feelings leaving my body. I am able to control myself at that point and feel so much better. Happier. Writing is more than art. It is a sense of psychiatry in its own version I believe. I think it has something to do with the way the mind works when you write down all your feelings and read them back to yourself. Whatever it is, it’s a wonderful thing. This is another reason why I enjoy keeping up on my blogs every few days. By doing so, it helps keep my mind “sane” and by clearing my head like that I’m also able to focus more on my books, my job, my home life, people in passing, LIFE IN GENERAL. After all the mind is mysterious to mankind and we will never be able to understand it. 

Do I believe I may have some issues in my head? To some extent yes, but I’ve learned to cope with them in a non-harmful way by finding my outlet. Having my outlet to go to and create something worth while from it has me feeling normal…but what exactly is normal in our society? I like to think of myself as “unique”. In my own little way, of course. 

This thought crossed my mind today when I was working and I thought it would make for a perfect topic for my blog today. After all, I did eventually want to address this topic, so why not a better day than today? 

Because writing has become my outlet, I almost feel like a whole new person. The feelings, emotions, the mentality all kept at bay while I look at myself everyday in the mirror and think “wow, who is that anymore? I’m all grown up and have learned to find healthy ways of coping by also pursuing my dreams at the same time”. Who knew that my dream career path would turn out to be my healthy outlet? Life does work in funny ways. 

Some of this is hard to explain, and I’m sure in the future I will revisit this topic again once I’ve found more of the right words to explain it. I actually just figured all this out so it is still new to me having this good outlet, and good feeling about myself. Life is good. My life is good, and I’ve never been happier than I am right now. I’ve never felt as good as I do now sitting here writing this blog. It is safe to say that writing is my sanctuary. Always will be. I will never stop writing. Even if it is just for myself. 

Writing is my form of healing from within. Writing is my Psychiatrist. 

 

~What to say…~

I finally was able to get back into my work/writing routine again after 2 moths of crazy. It feels nice, but I’m so tired all the time because I’m not used to this routine anymore. I know, give it a few days for my body to adjust again. I will. I’m not complaining though. My life is good and I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way right now. 

What I will complain about is all this rain I’m getting! I’m so afraid it will freeze over night. I on’t know…this winter just has been a crazy wonky winter altogether. 

I probably won’t write a long blog tonight as I don’t have much to say, but I at least wanted to post a blog about something tonight. If that makes sense ha-ha. Part of my writing routine I am trying to do is work up my blog site as well by posting a blog every few days. Even if it is a short blog. Blogging helps clear out any…brain farts, I guess you could call them. WRITERS BLOCKS. Blogging is definitely a good way for me to clear all that. 

So, my older sister came home for the week for my moms birthday. I haven’t seen my older sister in a few years. 3 years?? I don’t know…a long time basically. I didn’t go down to see her. Been busy working and my sales are screaming at me to get another book published. I’m almost done editing my book! I have 2.5 chapters left! I’m getting more and more excited as I get even closer to the end. Then, it is off to a new story. Or in this case, the same story…a sequel. This is my first big book…my other 2 books are more like short stories, so I’m really interested to see how this book/series takes off. Working hard! 

Some days, however, seem to blur into one because I’m so busy. I always get side tracked and confused on which day it is and what time it is. This week especially. I’m just so out of it this week. I had to keep reminding myself that today is Sunday…for some reason I kept thinking it was Monday. I guess I posted my last blog 6 days ago when it only felt like 3 days ago…A day in the life, I tell you. *Shakes head and sighs*

Maybe my next blog will be a short story that I just write off the top of my head. I don’t know…I guess I’ll have to see when that day comes. I’ve been thinking of blogging a short story for a while but never got around to it, so maybe I will do just that in my next blog. 🙂 Hmmmm…so, look out for that if you liked reading my first book I wrote when I posted it in chapters on here. 

I can’t wait until spring and summer so I can take pictures of things I do outside and write about them on here like my garden I want to start this year; new bird decorations I want to hang to attract new bird species; so many new things to talk about! The gloomy, mucky, weather I have now is nothing spectacular..I mean who wants to see a picture of a frozen lake that people are sitting on ice fishing? Not missing much.

For now, I’m going to leave this blog here. I’m finishing up my editing in my book, and I don’t want to keep typing away about nothing LOL! Plus, I’ve got laundry to tend to as well. Yay…! *long dramatic pause* 

Anyway, talk later blog world 🙂 (I know…weird way to end a blog, but every blog can’t end the same way)

 

~Another Day In The Life~

Good afternoon WORLD, 

The sun seems to be shining brightly on this mid January day. Very odd for this time of year ESPECIALLY in Central Wisconsin. We currently have no snow on the ground YIPPEE!! It is very cold out as well. Bitter…perfect weather to snuggle up under blankets and read a good book or watch movies. 

How am I spending my day? Editing my book. I’m about half way done, then off to publishing. I am really excited. I can’t wait to fully spend my days at home and write. 

The point of this blog today is to share some insight on being self employed. It is very hard work. I drive for Lyft right now to pay my bills until my writing career takes off, and you have to constantly put in the hours everyday to make anything. Those of you that are all like “it’s a get rich quick thing” you are wrong. I put in anywhere between 40-60 hours a week driving. I’m not shaming my job or the company, I’m simply stating make sure you know what you have to do before you decide if it is something for you. 

Some days, I feel like I’m not making any head way with it or even with my writing. I feel like I’m stuck some days or falling. BUT I mustn’t give up! Because that light at the end of the tunnel is so much greater if I don’t give up. Even though being self employed is hard work, it teaches you dedication and to work for the things you want. Nothing is handed to you. If you want to make something of yourself, you have to put in those hours and keep going through the tough times to make it to the end result. I am not that type of person that just quits everything when the going gets tough because how will I know if I can do it or come out of this rough patch if I quit??

I have to start at the bottom. Building from the bottom up. Rome wasn’t built in a day. 

I’ve come to believe that as long as I get out of bed every day, continue to go to work even if its just a few hours at a time or even if it is a slow day; and continue my path as an author on top of that that things will work out because I’m not giving up. I am constantly trying every day even if some days/weeks are tough. That goes with anything in life not just my job and career. 

Let me back up a second and say that I had been so used to the regular 9-5 grind. With that, the set paychecks every week/bi-weekly. When you decide to do the self employment whether it be a Lyft driver, an author, or even simply starting your own business selling cosmetics, that 9-5 grind goes away, yes, but you have to train yourself on a completely different…budget I should say. The extra money you were so used to having every two weeks from your paychecks goes away which means no more shopping when you want for a while. You also need to set up a new routine to live off of which includes bill paying and grocery shopping. Basically, everything you once knew and were used to goes away. Now, you’re all sitting there going, “Wow, no one tells you this when they advertise.” 

I’m not saying all of this to scare anyone away from doing their own self employed business. In fact, I encourage it! Times may be tough at first with getting used to a whole new life, and you may fall a little bit, but keep trudging through those waters and build your business. One day, all the hard times will be behind you, and you will sit there and say, “I can’t believe I made it”. It is worth every mile. Just because you see on TV stating  you can make $2000/week by starting your own business and it doesn’t happen right away, doesn’t mean it won’t ever happen. It just means that it needs time to build up and that time takes a while. 

This is what most of our country is too famous for…giving up. This is why I wanted to shed some insight on the self employment business for anyone having trouble out there. I feel no one informs us of these inside facts when we get started so it is a learning process, but most people take it as “the company lied”. The company didn’t necessarily “lie”, it’s just that you didn’t give it enough time to grow and become something. I’ve been there, too. I’ve wanted to quit many times, but these thoughts are what keep me going every day. 

Take it from experience, don’t give up, and continue to do what you have been doing every day. Sometimes you have to work everyday to build that client based business and get yourself out there. 

I am truly amazed at myself and how much I’ve gathered with this industry. I never thought I would grow to be the person I am today that thoroughly thinks through things such as this to find the true meaning and correct way. Even though things are a little tough right now, I’m proud to be in the self employment industry. I know I will come out on top in the end as well as everyone else that doesn’t give up when the going gets tough. Remember, things get tough before they get better. Keep plucking away at your goals and positive results will arise from it. 

I know it has been a while since I posted a blog, and one of my 2018 goals is to produce more blogs more often so please follow me if you would like to see more of my posts 🙂 Also, don’t forget to leave any comments if you have any!

 

~What has happened?~

I feel lost…or at least that’s how I’ve felt the last 2 months. I don’t know where to begin…

Everyday has been a constant struggle for me to get through…well it was in the beginning. Not so much anymore as I surround myself with positivity and completely consume myself in writing and my job and my house. 

Most of you are probably thinking What is she talking about? What happened? It has taken me this long to accept what is and to come out and tell my story without feeling depressed and saddened. For a while, my writing was failing and I just wanted to give up. I had to find some way to channel my thoughts and feelings and emotions into my passions. 

Almost 2 months ago, my fiance left me for another women. It was actually on the night we sat down and started planning our wedding and he just got up grabbed his stuff and left. The next day he shows back up at my house telling me he left me for someone else. Talk about feeling completely crushed. How do I feel? How do I cope? Why has this happened? Were the questions constantly going through my mind every second of every day. I couldn’t get myself to go to work…I was on the verge of losing everything I worked for. I couldn’t bring myself to sit down at my computer desk and write so much as a paragraph. When I did, thoughts of him would cloud my mind. I cried for days…the feeling of being alone completely took over. 

It wasn’t until my eyes began to open up to the true person he is that he hid from me for 2 years that I started to take a stand in my life and move on. He wanted me to basically drop everything in my life for him and cater to all his attention needs. He began to treat me like the pile of dirt he walked on and expected me to kiss his shoes. He didn’t think I would ever eventually see it, but I did. It took me blocking him from everything to leave me alone. It took many nights of me crying and hurting to fully move on and move past this. I had to constantly remind myself of the person he is. How can people be so sickening and disturbing and think that’s ok to live? How many drugs does it take to truly mess up the thought process and make you become disturbing? 

I started writing again. I’m working again and constantly surrounded by the positive in my life. That is the only way I’ll be able to stay sane and keep my eyes on my goals in life. I have no other words to describe the pain, the hurt, the sickness, every other emotion possibly felt in the book. I was going to marry this guy…so what does that make me? Crazy? Just as disturbing as him? Some days I feel that way even though I know it’s not true. He played me like an old school piano and left me blind to it all. He refused to grow up into a man so instead he’s happy living as a man child the rest of his life going after vulnerable women. The thought makes my skin crawl all over because that is exactly what he did to me. Made me believe every day he was in love with me when he was only in love with what I did for him. 

My life is better now. I haven’t spoken to him in almost 2 weeks. The feelings are starting to go away and subside making me feel even better as each day passes. I’m getting more into my life routines and writing more. I’m being happy just being me and being alone. I had to work on repairing my shattered heart every day…it’s still not fully put back together yet, but the wounds are healing nicely. I never really noticed how much of myself he took from me when he was with me until the day he left me. My book I’m writing now…the girl is just like him. I started putting more emotions into my book without realizing I made the girl to be just like my ex. I am going to finish it and finish the series…just means that there is going to be alot of my own emotions put into this series. It may be hard for me at times to write because of it, but I know I will finish it eventually. Just know, that if you read it when it is done and published, you will feel what I’ve been feeling. I’d rather people experience that through a book instead of real life. 

Anyway, I’m going to leave this blog here. I just wanted to write out a short blog to help my writers block and to get out all of my pent up feelings. Put everything into words basically because it all helps me heal and move on. 

 

~Book Blogging~

Being a first time published author is hard work! But enjoyable and exciting all the same. I love it. I love watching my career start taking off and watching the progress. So…I’m working on my second novel now. About a singer who gets into a really bad car accident that puts her into a coma and her family is around her sharing memories so you get to learn about who she really is…because when she wakes up she doesn’t remember. There are many ugly twists and heart wrenching parts in the book. 

Anyway, those of you that have followed my first book Hopes and Destinies from the beginning, you all know that I didn’t post the last 2 chapters. This is a must read book! A five star review already! So, if you haven’t please buy and read it both ebook and paperback are available! Ebook is available for $3.99 and paperback is available for $5.99. Next week, I have a week promotion on it where ebook sells for $1.99 and paperback is $2.99. If you like what I write, stay tuned for more novels by me. This is just the beginning!! 

 Here is an image of my paperback book! 

A mysterious romance novel about a girl who is living a double life to stay alive. She experiences murder and love all in the same life not knowing that one day both of her lives she is living are about to merge into one. She realizes the man she is so desperately in love with isn’t who he says he is, but neither is she. She starts to learn that sometimes fate gets in the way…maybe her destiny of living a double life. What was once destinies, is now hopes of finding solitude and love again. -About the book-

amazon.com/author/jesspagor  

Read the sample and leave a review. (There’s free sample of my ebook). An author wouldn’t be an author without the readers. Even for a little light reading 🙂

I do have a twitter account now for those that would like to follow me for more updates. You can find me at @jesspagor

The weather here is crappy; rainy and thunderstorms. Lots of wind too!! You would think we had a tornado…. We had a tornado last week. That was pretty scary! We had to hide in our little bathroom…(we don’t have a cellar or a basement). Every sound of the tornado was heard…luckily we were all safe. 

Life has been pretty crazy with advertising and marketing for my books and home stuff. Of course the tornadoes played a huge part in my time lol crazy crazy. 

Here is an image of my ebook of Hopes and Destinies. Everyone has to start their career somewhere and its always at the bottom. It always gets better from here! Tell your friends and anyone else you may think will like my books! My saying is: There’s always an author out there for every person. Just like there’s a hairstylist for every person and a doctor for every person, a mechanic for every car. My books are classified as suspicious romance and dramatic romance. If this is your genre or an interesting genre to you, then these books are right up your alley!! Try the free samples today!! 

~PUBLISHED!~

Hey guys!! I know it has been a while since I wrote on here but things have been busy. First off, if you have been following my novel Hopes and Destinies you know I didn’t post the last few chapters. I DID finish the book and have published a kindle copy and a paperback copy. Below is the link to my author page on amazon so if you loved the book please please please go on there and purchase and find out what happens next! By the way, I am doing a promotion on this novel starting next month so be sure to buy it then!! Right now, it sells for $5.95 on kindle. Starting next month it goes down to $2.99 that’s half price!! Only for the month of June though. Also, if you purchase the kindle version, you can purchase the paperback version for $1.99!! That’s quite the deal because the paperback alone sells for $10. 

amazon.com/author/jesspagor

You all have been such a great inspiration to me because I thrive to write stories for those that love to read them. You all made this possible for me and that just makes my day making your days. This blog is going to be short, but I just wanted to give an update for those that have been wondering. I am now a published author and the happiest I’ve ever been!! You all can expect more from me in the times to come. With that being said, I am working on a new book right now. It’s actually a rewrite on my very first novel I wrote in highschool and never got it published. So I will be posting a link also to my author facebook page. Be sure to like it to follow me for more details and updates on new novels. I will be starting a twitter account soon for my author page as well for those of you that like to follow on twitter. I will post on this blog site when I get that up and going. 

@jpagorauthorpage – on facebook!

Anyway, go check it all out!!